I felt deflated. But more than deflated, I felt tired. For anyone that has trained for anything big, or built up a huge amount of energy and effort for something, when that is suddenly taken away, there is a sort of nothingness. I came to the conclusion that maybe this opportunity had just been too surreal to ever actually manifest into anything real. I fully understood the need for postponing (or as I saw it cancelling) this was a ridiculously busy woman, she had children, a family, a huge career. Without being given another date, it felt like this was it. Grateful I hadn’t shouted about it or spoken about this opportunity to more than a couple of loved ones, I finally slept.
I flip backwards and forwards, between tight brackets, of my dream job. Which sector I want to be in: film, lingerie, pure corsetry, bridal, red carpet wear etc. Although I feel specialising in corsetry gives me a bit of an edge.
I’m sure it’s on everyone’s CV, ‘I thrive working in a team, but can also work independently’. It really is true. I would describe myself far more extrovert than introvert. I adore meeting new people and would always rather grab a coffee with someone than speak over the Internet. Despite this, I do crack on well when I have a deadline to meet and can hide myself away. Someone described my personality type as, ‘someone who expels energy when on their own, and recharges in the company of others’. They couldn’t be more right.
So what relevance does this have? Well I really want to work as part of a team. Film and theatre are the leading choices at the moment, with my own freelance work on the side. I really need to win that BAFTA… I just love being able to make ‘something out of nothing’. Taking a piece of cloth and transforming it with careful cutting and stitching is real magic.
I rested for a day, re-watched some favourite movies (Big Fish and Blade Runner worked their magic) and then I received another email. Her PA had been so fabulous, and she had kept to her word. This time I had a date, a time and a location.
With the car stuffed full of garment bags, G&T cupcakes and look-books we headed to London. As we entered the gate, I certainly had first date butterflies.
She was standing there, right in front of us, barefoot and guiding us into her parking space. Was this actually happening?