This blog post has been spurred on by a few things. Firstly a really enlightening article by a good blogger friend, secondly a conversation with my wisest friend (who is a mother), and thirdly by an image shared on Facebook.
Babies. You can (for the most part) choose to have them, or not have them. It’s an individual’s choice. There has been so much said lately around the fact that having offspring is good/bad/selfish/the best thing ever that I think we have forgotten that unless they are our babies it has nothing to do with us.
I’ve always wanted children. I have grown up wanting a big family. I want a big business, but I don’t see that my desire for babies has to be mutually exclusive of this. The fact that anyone should feel pressure either way seems so bizarre to me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that having a baby would put my body through a great ordeal (in fact as a type 1 diabetic far more than most), I know that it wouldn’t be a walk in the park and that my relationships, priorities and whole life would change. But, when the time is right (and it’s not quite yet) I welcome it.
As much as I understand life wouldn’t be like Gilmore Girls, I also don’t crave a Samantha SATC lifestyle either. But, to get back to my original point, this shouldn’t bother anyone else, this sint their decision.
So to those friends who are undecided, I appreciate your honesty, your gutsy way of being able to talk about your fears, and I will support you in any way you ask. To those who have their own children already, you’re doing a great job, and I love and appreciate any time I get to spend with you. And finally, for those of you who are adamant in your decision against having children, then I salute you too, we don’t all need to bring new life into the world, and it isn’t all you have to offer as an individual. Your choice is valid. All choices are valid.
So please, particularly at Christmas, let’s just live and let live. No one has all the right answers, so let’s not criticise and condemn one another’s decisions.
Sometimes I find it hard enough deciding which bra to put on in the morning, let alone if a distant Facebook friend should or shouldn’t be having children…♥